Surgeon Simulator 2013

By: Robert Murphy

**Heads Up** This game isn't for everyone.

Did anyone else ever wanted to preform open heart surgery but didn’t want to go through all the work of going to school and getting a valid medical license that wasn’t printed on the back of a Chinese take-out menu. Well now you can, that’s right the popular game that allowed you to perform complex surgery without all the hassle is back with more in “Surgeon Simulator 2013” and is just as much fun as before. For those of you who don’t know, the game is essentially and update from the previous “Surgeon Simulator” and adds new features such as more surgeries and more tools to use during your operations, all the while offering the same enjoyable experience that the original did.

 Surgery Call of Duty style

The game puts players in an operating room, sterilized and ready to go and your patient lays unconsciously on the operating table with either his chest or brain opened up and ready for you to replace the malfunctioning organ. Players are in control of a soul arm and hand that fumbles around the operating table and despite your best intentions to be professional, it inevitably fails but this is done on purpose. “Surgeon Simulator” is not meant for the serious person who wants a precision surgery game, no this game is more for you and your friends to drunkenly move about the operating area and defy all logic behind the complex nature of brain, heart and kidney surgery. The arm is controlled by the mouse and you control each individual finger with the AQWER keys and I’m sure that the game was meant to be somewhat serious but as you smash open your patient’s rib cage and hack out organs because they just won’t come out. This becomes hard not to do as well when you see the many ways you can dig into your poor victim such as a laser, surgical axe, a hammer, saw and other common surgical tools which just put an evil grin on your face.

Now this seems bad but I don’t know I’m not a doctor

Now there lies the games big appeal, “Surgeon Simulator 2013” is a game with a good dose of evil humor as you hack away organs, fumble around the operating room with a scalpel trying sever arteries and yank them right out bare handed. All the frustration that you’d think you would feel from not being able to move precisely and is replaced with the enormous amounts of laughter as blood squirts out of the poor guy’s chest. Don’t worry though you can save him with drugs…..that is if you don’t accidentally or purposely shoot yourself up with the needle as it’s easy to do and if you thought surgery with no medical knowledge was hard before try doing it while tripping out. All this is wrapped together in a nice 2 hour package once you’ve done each surgery you get to relive the fun and do them all over again but this time in the back of an ambulance, where speed bumps and sharp turns constantly hurl your equipment around. After which your patient has been patched up for the sixth time and you've seen most of the game but are able to freely return to all the surgery’s  to improve your previous time and rankings.

 Alright we’re good, close him up

What else can I say about “Surgeon Simulator 2013” except “wow”, the game is a highly enjoyable Steam game, one of those short and simple games that provide you with a lot of laughs for you and the rest of your friends. And there are plenty of ways to do so as I’ve mentioned, players are given every surgery tool under the sun and kind of makes you feel like Dexter Morgan (main character from “Dexter” about to kill someone in your sterile little room and that’s how it happens more often than not. And for the low price tag that you are given and the short but oh so sweet package the game comes in, there is nothing not to love about this game.

P.S. for added enjoyment and for those of you who would like to see just what “Surgeon Simulator 2013” is like you can follow the link to watch Gavin Free and Michael Jones of Rooster Teeth play the game here.

Good:

-Goofy mechanics but are meant to be that way for the added fun

-Cheap price tag

-Three unique surgeries to preform and completely make a mockery of modern medicine

Bad:

-If you were looking for a serious surgery game this isn’t it

Scully rating: 9.0 out of 10