By: Robert Murphy
We've all heard it at one time or another, a woman will say how much she misses the old days when her and her husband were younger and were having sex everywhere, all the time and every which direction. The fact that things slow down when you start a life together happens to everyone and yeah it is a little sad and we all say that it won't happen to us but it ends up happening anyways. That is the basic premise of the movie Sex Tape where a couple, Annie (Cameron Diaz) and Jay (Jason Segel) have finally begun to figure out the whole family thing and are looking to get the spark back to their love life after it has gone so far south. The thought of seeing Diaz naked would make most anyone jump out of their seats and it most assuredly does for the twos entire family as their exploits of a one night free for all gets leaked to everyone they know. Hoping to avoid the unbearable humiliation the two set out to destroy their ill advised sex tape once and for all before they have to pick up and leave to find a new town where no one knows them.
Right from the first scene you can tell that Sex Tape is going for a lewdness factor that seems to be popular for Jason Segel when I first saw him in another movie called Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I had thought that Jason though wouldn't ever be seen doing a movie like that again especially after he made his mark in How I Met Your Mother and other various films and the same can be said of Cameron Diaz. For whatever reason the two chose to take part in the movie though and it sad because the whole thing is a one trick pony from the very start. We see a dizzying array of sex scenes based on Diaz and Segel's early college phase when they first met and while I do enjoy the thought of it all, it really wasn't that necessary to show scene after scene after scene of the two humping and Segel being the more naked one as you might expect. This bringing up another point I had to make which is Segel for some reason seemed incredibly scared on screen, naked or clothed he felt like a deer in front of headlights or a kid getting stage fright during a 1st grade talent show. He is noticeably slimmer than he has been in recent years and maybe he felt a little self conscious about himself the whole time, whatever the case it wasn't a shining moment for him through the movie.
The other half of Sex Tape takes us all on a joy ride (cut out the joy) across the Los Angeles to all of their known friends and family who they must stop from seeing Diaz and Segel from doing the beast with two backs. This part I know should have been just as fun as it sounds but for whatever the reason it just wasn't, the two end up doing ridiculous stunts to get the evidence of their night together back from everyone, burning iPads and the like for no reason what so ever. Which also the entire film seemed to be a giant plug for Apple products as nobody else owned a single other brand for their phones and other electronic devices, it was like subliminal messaging but the kind that smacks you in the face repeatedly over and over. The one stop along the way that I did enjoy happened at the posh mansion of Hank Rosenbaum (Rob Lowe) who wanted to buy the blog that Diaz writes about her family (for some reason). Rob Lowe is famous for having his own sex tape get out a few years ago and the underline humor and chemistry in the situation is just oh so juicy to watch. The scene of Rob and Diaz is more enjoyable than the entirety of the rest of the movie if I'm being honest and it was my one good take away from it.
In conclusion, most of the titillation that you were expecting from Sex Tape gets used up in the first few minutes of the movie. Segel was not on his A game this time around and felt out of place for many of the somewhat raunchy points in the movie, Diaz was doing her part for the sex appeal (even though she is 42 now) but even she felt a little out of place with the whole thing. What I guess hurts the most about the movie though is you kind of already know it's going to be a one trick pony from the start but you hoped that it was the kind of movie that would make it work despite it all. In the end, Sex Tape has about the same appeal that you would get from a celebrity sex tape that has been "leaked" online and that is a dark, confusing image of something you built up too much in your head.
The other half of Sex Tape takes us all on a joy ride (cut out the joy) across the Los Angeles to all of their known friends and family who they must stop from seeing Diaz and Segel from doing the beast with two backs. This part I know should have been just as fun as it sounds but for whatever the reason it just wasn't, the two end up doing ridiculous stunts to get the evidence of their night together back from everyone, burning iPads and the like for no reason what so ever. Which also the entire film seemed to be a giant plug for Apple products as nobody else owned a single other brand for their phones and other electronic devices, it was like subliminal messaging but the kind that smacks you in the face repeatedly over and over. The one stop along the way that I did enjoy happened at the posh mansion of Hank Rosenbaum (Rob Lowe) who wanted to buy the blog that Diaz writes about her family (for some reason). Rob Lowe is famous for having his own sex tape get out a few years ago and the underline humor and chemistry in the situation is just oh so juicy to watch. The scene of Rob and Diaz is more enjoyable than the entirety of the rest of the movie if I'm being honest and it was my one good take away from it.
In conclusion, most of the titillation that you were expecting from Sex Tape gets used up in the first few minutes of the movie. Segel was not on his A game this time around and felt out of place for many of the somewhat raunchy points in the movie, Diaz was doing her part for the sex appeal (even though she is 42 now) but even she felt a little out of place with the whole thing. What I guess hurts the most about the movie though is you kind of already know it's going to be a one trick pony from the start but you hoped that it was the kind of movie that would make it work despite it all. In the end, Sex Tape has about the same appeal that you would get from a celebrity sex tape that has been "leaked" online and that is a dark, confusing image of something you built up too much in your head.
Good:
- Rob Lowe wins me over again with his on screen chemistry that should have happened between Segel and Diaz
- Cameron Diaz....the reason behind it is something I'm sure you all know already
Bad:
- A one trick pony joke about sex that never seems to end
- Segel is not at his best at all, not sure why but he felt very nervous the entire time to me
- One big Apple promotion disguised as a movie
- Most of the exploits to retrieve Segel's and Diaz's sex tape were plain ridiculous
Scully Rating: 3.0 out of 10
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