A Million Ways to Die in the West

By: Robert Murphy

All the old westerns we know and love with big names like John Wayne, always will tell the story of how the west was not a safe or easy place to live because there were dangers around every corner waiting to get you. This is still true for the new Seth MacFarlane comedy A Million Ways to Die in the West but there is a bit of a twist as the story isn't told from a big hero who ain't afraid of nothing, no more of the opposite. Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane) is the focus of our story and he is by all definitions what you'd call a coward and they aren't looked at to kindly in the old west. Albert's character though seems to be the only logical speaking one half the time as he notices all the dangers around every day life and the ridiculous nature of life in his home town of Old Stump. People die quite frequently around this little town and Albert is the only one who sees just how messed up that is with the combination of outlaws, Indians, disease, wild and vicious animals and so many more things to be afraid of, it makes you wonder why people now think it was so great.

Albert's cowardice in the film almost can be perceived as a defense mechanism to all the insane things going on around him but mostly it's just because he is a coward. This cowardice is what also drives the main story when Albert loses his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) to the towns most successful and handsomely mustache business man Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Due to the fact that Albert has a low self image about himself he feels that he was so lucky to be with Louise that he'll do anything now to get her back and help comes from an unlikely place. A new stranger comes to town named Anna (Charlize Theron) and she comes to the aid of Albert in his time of need but proves to be more of the woman he needs and actually appreciates him. The two even share the realization and the horror of life in the west and how ridiculous it is for them just to survive, they're more like 21st century people living in an 1800 kind of life. It is overall a very interesting sort of take to life in the west to say the least but interesting is about all you're going to say about it.

A Million Ways to Die in the West is one of those movies that had all the funny portions in the commercials for the film and only had a splash of humor for the rest of it. While I was watching it I couldn't help but feel that things were just listing off the dangerous things that happen in the west and trying to make each of them funny like a random cut away in Family Guy. In fact the whole experience probably would have been a lot better if it was animated, it would have been much more enjoyable and made more sense especially during a trippy moment where Albert does some Indian peyote and goes on a weird psychedelic trip.  It's really disappointing considering the terrific supporting cast that surrounds Albert and his quest to impress the blonde idiot that dumped him. Liam Neeson takes on the role of the resident baddy Clinch Leatherwood who in true fashion makes a great bad guy and provides shine to an otherwise dud of a film. Charlize Theron also provides a stellar role as Anna who for some reason likes the sheep herding Albert, she's deadly and more of a man than most people in the west as she can out shoot and out drink most anyone she comes across.  

Albert or rather Seth MacFarlane was really a major fault with the film for me as he really isn't what you would call a wealth of acting experience. He definitely does not aid the lack of substance in the writing by trying to add his brand of comedy to the main role of the film and shouldn't be the one in the spotlight the entire time. I understand that he wanted to try his hand at acting in his own film but that's the thing, it is his own film and that's the reason he is in the spotlight here. I'm not saying it was a conceded decision on his part but it wouldn't be one that any other director would make. Where you see the shining moments as I said before is with the supporting roles of the rest of the cast here. 

In conclusion, Seth MacFarlane should stick to the background and writing of his films and not be the center of attraction unless he's a talking foul mouthed teddy bear. All of A Million Ways to Die in the West's funniest moments were included in the commercials for the film so as you got geared up for a humorous story about the old west you get screwed over. Many of the supporting roles do deserve a tip of the hat, Liam Neeson, Charlize Theron and Neil Patrick Harris all performed top notch in their roles and provide a glimmer in the dust of a bad film. I think I will be sticking with the more serious kind of westerns in the future, it will be a safer bet I think. 

Good:

- Great supporting cast of characters

- The funny bits were still funny even though they were in the commercials 

Bad:

- Seth MacFarlane should probably stick to the background 

- Very weak story that lacked substance

- Really just tried too hard to make itself be funny, trying to pile on joke after joke with little to no substance

Scully Rating: 4.0 out of 10 

A Game of Thrones: The Board Game (2nd Edition)

Zach Goodier

This board game sets 3-6 players in the world of Westeros, playing as the major houses competing for control of the 7 kingdoms.  Favorites, such as houses Stark, Lannister, Baratheon, and Tyrell, all appear (except for house Targaryen, since they don’t reside on the same continent at this point) in this faithfully adapted strategy game.  Houses all compete for influence, which they can acquire by consolidating the regions they control.  This influence can then be spent to help the Night's Watch, or to bid to become the dominant house in King's Landing.  However, houses must also keep up with armies, and the supplies needed to maintain them.  The game only lasts 8 rounds, as players struggle over control over the various castles and strongholds, as well as bid on various influence tracts to gain slight advantages in various categories, all to hopefully take control of the Iron Throne.

Here's the full setup, if you've never played, then I'm sure you're probably reeling at the complexity of it all.  However, if you're fan of the franchise, and don't mind a learning curve, then the rewards are well worth the effort.

Right from the start, this game is intimidating.  It’s complex, and requires an extensive learning curve to figure out.  Fortunately, some of the mechanics are optional, making the game somewhat easier to pick up, but it’s still a toughie.  However, I must say that what you get after that steep and head-crushing (Season 4 pun intended) learning curve, is a game that allows players to truly feel like the lords of Westeros.

As you can see, the board can get very busy, which is part of the inherent difficulty in picking this game up and getting it all down.  It will likely take a couple game before it all makes sense.  Reading the manual is like reading a GRRM book in itself, by board game standards.

Each house really feels authentic, with Houses like Stark starting out with larger territories and better positioning, but with fewer supplies, which limits the size of your armies, while houses like Lannister have no problem keeping ample supply lines to marshal larger armies to dominate the continent, but contend with potential enemies on many fronts.  Navies are also important, and houses like Greyjoy start out with plenty of ships to move troops around the western coast at their leisure, giving them more troop mobility than other houses, but their low supplies and little control on the mainland mean they have to fight hard just to expand their initial foothold.

Influence tracts (above) allow houses to bid, and by leading in influence, you can move before other players, decide ties, and use special orders that grant bonuses to whoever receives them.

Battles are relatively simple, with units each having assigned battle strengths.  Infantry have 1, cavalry 2, and siege engine are 4 when attacking a region with a castle or stronghold, otherwise they only count as 1.  You can include the Tides of War cards, which we didn’t do, that can really affect how battles play out, allowing for smaller armies to potentially devastate larger ones.  You can only muster new forces when an event card prompts it, and supply counters are only adjusted when a resupply event is drawn at the start of the turn.  This all means that players can never be certain when or if they will be able to gain new troops, and the supply track may not change for a while, whether you gained or lost resources.  This can all be a 2-edged sword, with some houses eagerly awaiting fresh troops while others are thanking the Old Gods and the New that their enemies aren't getting the fresh troops needed to push forward.  It's really all luck of the draw, but if you skillfully use your forces, you'll have a major edge by not depending on the luck of the draw to defeat your enemies.

Each house has a different color, but these are the shapes of units.  Siege engines, infantry, fleets, and cavalry.  I'm sure you can figure out which is which.

The biggest game changer for battles, however, is house cards.  Each house has its' own small deck of cards, which consist of prominent characters from the house, or who support it in some way.  House Stark has Ned, Cat, Robb, Greatjon Umber, and other important figures.  Baratheon has Mellisandre, Stannis, and others.  These cards can add combat strength when played, and can often use text abilities to manipulate the tides of battle by negating other abilities, or negating combat strength.  This is how battles can surprise players, and large forces may find themselves victims of smaller ones. 

The numbers at the top left indicate the combat strength the card adds to your forces when played.  Some of the House Cards have swords at the bottom, which mean that the card will result in however many casualties as there are swords, towers negate swords, and other cards have text abilities that can affect the battles in various ways.

The easiest way to win is to hold 7 castles or strongholds; otherwise, after 8 turns, you tally up the scores of supplies, armies, etc.  And the house with the highest score is deemed the winner.  Since there can only be one winner, houses that support the winner really don’t win at all, so if your partner wins, you don’t get a consolation prize.  “When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die, there is no middle ground.”

At the bottom, from left to right, is the round tracker and Victory tracker, Supply tracker (as well as how many armies of what sizes your current supply level allows), and the influence tracker.  On the upper part of the track is the Wildling Tracker, and if it gets too high, it can cause troubles in Westeros, demanding all the houses shift their focus to quelling the threat.

Overall, this is a complex game of intrigue, strategy, and domination.  Houses may have different strengths, but all need to work on these elements to compete for the Iron Throne, and the experience is truly worthy of the name it bears.  However, the hefty learning curve can really set you back at the initial pickup, and the intricate nature of this game means that you really can’t enjoy this with most casual board gamers.  This is meant for die-hard fans of the franchise, people who can’t get enough of it, and want to take on the roles of their favorite houses (except for the Targaryens) and battle it out for the Iron Throne.  On that note, it's all worth it.  The game really makes you feel like a lord of Westeros, and the tense relationships with the other players can foster alliances or cause bitter rivalries.  And the limited number of turns means that you can never really settle down and be too patient, forcing players to resort to more assertive tactics to control the Iron Throne.  The game requires a certain balance between patience and assertiveness, challenging players to neither work too fast, nor too slow.  The right balance is impossible to know, because player skill is only part of this, with random events making the game unpredictable enough to the point where even the smartest, most cunning player isn't immune to major setbacks.  The game is far to complex to fully explain here, the only way to learn it is to pick it up and throw yourself into it, it all makes sense but takes a while to wrap your head around.

Good:

-Really captures the feel of each house, and makes the experience feel like a faithful adaptation.

-Plenty of depth in game-play to make replay value high.

-Chance to rewrite Westeros history.

-Brilliant artwork on all around.

Bad:

-Very large learning curve, making initial pickup very difficult.  Plus, there are a lot of pieces to keep track of, making setup and cleanup a somewhat lengthy process.

-No Targaryens.  It makes sense in terms of playing solely on Westeros, but a great number of fans will feel alienated without their favorite house.

Scully Rating: 9.2 out of 10

Bleach 584: The Headless Star 3

Zach Goodier

Link: http://readms.com/r/bleach/584/2408/1

Ichigo still holds the upper hand against Candice and the other ladies; however, Ichigo clearly isn't looking to shed any unnecessary blood if he can avoid it.  His enemies won't be so forgiving, however, as his fight begins to draw the attention of the other Quincy, who are all eager to eliminate Ichigo and take the glory of killing him for themselves.  Ichigo is strong, but as his enemies circle around him, we can only wonder if he is truly ready for the fight ahead, as it seems nobody else is capable of resisting.  And even as we worry about the sharks circling Ichigo, Juha Bach is setting another plan into motion, and we can only wonder (and dread) what that plan is.

It was nice to see Ichigo easily handling these opponents, and now that more are showing up, he might really start to turn it up.  However, we're still missing some key supporting players, so it might be possible that they'll show up to take some of the pressure off of Ichigo, or maybe Urahara is holding them in reserve in case of some other eventuality.  In either case, we still have to worry about Juha Bach, and what his "key" is going to do, and how this is going to put even more pressure on Ichigo.  Clearly, Juha Bach was waiting for Ichigo to arrive to set this plan in motion, but it is still unclear what exactly his plan is.  As usual, we need to hold off until next for the possibility of any answers.