By Zachary Goodier
As we move
ahead, reviewing and discussing our favorite (and least favorite) things, we
realized that perhaps our viewers could use a handy guide to the SNR rating
system, so you can better understand what our ratings mean to us when we put
them onto a title to give a quick reference to how we felt about that
particular item, so what follows is the rating system we use to describe
everything we review.
1-
“KILL IT WITH FIRE!”
This
is meant for items that are just so god awful that they might actually make you
sick. The inappropriate “this gave me
cancer” joke comes to mind, because that’s basically what this means. If and when we give it, it means we found NO
redeeming parts of this… at all.
2-
“DO. NOT. WANT.”
This rating means that maybe one or two little things turned out alright, but realistically, this is still a steaming pile. We don’t use either this rating or 1 very often, because honestly, it’s hardly possible to screw up this bad, but we have them here, because you never know when you’re going to need them.
3- EPIC FAIL.
This
is where we get to some more usable ratings for our reviews (Because it's surprisingly hard to be as bad as 1 or 2). 3 means that this was pretty bad, probably
missing a lot of polish in key areas, and probably not having any good premise to go off
of. For example, if an anime or TV show
just have a lot of bad fan service and no original plot to speak of,
and the characters are poorly written and the action leaves a lot to be
desired, but still has its moments here and there that lessened the lameness,
then this is likely what we’d stick it with.
4- "How About No."
We
all know those shows. They’re dumb, they’re
basically all the things a three is, but we may occasionally be in a mood, or
feeling dumb enough to actually enjoy it. We
know it’s bad, but it’s our guilty little pleasure that we still found
something here to enjoy while we were here.
And like a drunken little accident, you’ll do your best to forget it
after you’re done, since it didn't make up for the bad parts.
5-
Meh.
This
is so bland you really don’t feel anything for it. Wasn’t good enough to impress you, wasn’t bad
enough to make you hate it. It was just…
there. And while that doesn’t make it
as bad as the worst, you won’t remember it, you won’t talk to your friends
about it, and you won’t even recall what it was about after you put it
down. This is the land of mediocrity at
its finest, where everything is so dull you would eagerly accept a punch to the
face just to remind yourself that you can still feel anything at all.
6-
Almost There.
This one tried, it really did. You felt that someone along the way had a good idea, and tried to run with it, but it just didn’t really work out as awesome as they were hoping it would. Maybe it was rushed, or the production crew got lazy, or the acting was mediocre at best. The point is, something went wrong, but there is still something here worth checking out, if you think you might enjoy it. Maybe the plot is lame, but the characters were fun. Maybe the jokes fell flat, but the action was cool, or vice versa. These are titles that didn’t impress, but they gave you a couple laughs and thrills along the way. However, unlike the 4’s, there’s no guilt. You had fun, and you moved on. You told your friends about it, and they just kind of nodded their heads and moved on, as well. Don’t feel bad, they can’t all be amazing, right?
7-
Not Bad.
Ok,
I used “handsome” here before because this is where you have a game that essentially
equates to a “handsome” woman: maybe not a stunner, but a lot of solid qualities
that makes this one worth picking up.
You enjoyed it, you told your friends, and they enjoyed it too. You maybe talk about it for a day or so, but
then, once you’re done, you moved on.
That doesn’t mean this one wasn’t worth the time, you just realized that
sure you liked it but you wanted a little more, or it just got a little boring
before the end. Point is: you had some
good times, but you realized it was time to move on to other things.
8-
“Impressive, most impressive...”
Here’s
a fun one. You tried it, you liked it,
and you’re still smiling afterwards. Sure,
maybe it’s all been done before, maybe even better, but that doesn’t mean this
one should be passed on. Maybe the
budget was a little tight, or the concept was taken from something else, but it
pulls its weight like a pro, but not a champion.
9- "WINNING!"
This is for the really awesome
stuff, the ones that really pull it off.
You really had a hard time setting this one down, and you’re talking to
your friends about it all the time.
Sure, maybe one or two of them don’t get it, but who cares? You know you’re having fun, and most everyone
else agrees on how awesome it is.
Perhaps one or two things held it back, like a short number or episodes
or some polish that was conspicuously absent from the finished product, or
maybe just a couple of bugs that held it back from perfection. Whatever the case, you still loved it, and
you’re proud of it.
10- "Brace Yourselves..."
This is probably the toughest
item for us to review, because it’s almost impossible to do them justice in
words. This doesn’t mean that the item
is beyond fault, because nothing is, but it does mean that it stuck with us in
such a way that we couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even though it has the faults that any mortal
creation has, we didn’t care. You really
can’t say no to it, and it shows. You’ll
have posters of it on your walls, and a collectable mug, or figures on the
shelves. You proudly fly their sigils in
your keep (GoT/ASoIaF reference, there), and you dare someone to challenge you.
Whether it’s the themes,
characters, twists and turns, or whatever it is, this has it in spades. It all came together, in a unique and
compelling way, that grabbed us and wouldn’t let go. If we give an item this rating, it’s because
we honestly feel that you can’t pass this up, and that it will likely inspire
some talk amongst you and your friends for days and weeks after, if not more.
